Get Rid of 'It'
by sadisticmasochist kitsune
Summary: The men of Gondor celebrate by playing a game and Gimli contrives to pass 'it' to Legolas.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings

Get Rid of 'It'

Loud shouts and wild gestures were evidence of a major event taking place in Edoras. Bright, flashy cloth banners hung from every available place. The entire capital's management was placed on hold. A wide spread of food and drink was readily available to all.

The festivities going on in meduseld were being held in honour of Eomer king of Rohan. Faramir was present with his king, Aragorn. The elf, Legolas, and the dwarf, Gimli, were also there. Currently the elf had traveled off. While Gimli the dwarf went in search of food.

The men stood around in groups discussing the game. A timeless game that had almost completely run through Edoras. Aragorn, Eomer and Faramir strode through the throng searching.

"You are running out of time." commented Faramir with a small grin. Aragorn glanced rapidly amongst the crowd before finally spying Eowyn. Excited by the unexpected opportunity, the former ranger rushed to over to the shield maiden, the steward and Rohirric king following.

"Eowyn, Eowyn! Guess what!" the man exclaimed.

"Yes, my lord Aragorn?" she politely inquired, turning to face the Gondorian king.

"No Eowyn, guess what." he insisted.

"No lord Aragon. As it was I who gave it to my brother." Eowyn responded.

"Who then gave it to Faramir, who in his own turn gave it to me. Arr... son of a orc." Aragorn growled out. He turned on his heel to seek another victim, eyes franticly scanning the crowd. A diminutive figure appeared to one side and Aragorn ran to him.

"Gimli! Gimli wait!" he called out anxiously.

Cuirous as to why the king of united Arnor was yelling at him, Gimli stood and waited for Aragorn to reach him. He stood patiently, looking up at the man as he bent over to catch his breath.

"G-Gimli guess what?" the man asked.

"What?" Gimli asked.

"Five seconds to get rid of it!" he shouted, beaming widely.

Gimli stared up at the man unblinking. As Gimli made no motion of breaking the hard gaze, Aragorn began shifting nervously.

"Get rid of what?" he finally questioned, breaking the heavy silence.

"That word, 'what'." Eomer explained when no explanation was forth coming from Aragorn.

"Then how do I 'get rid of it'." Gimli asked irritably, glancing from one man to the next before settling on Aragorn.

"You get someone else to say the word 'what'." Aragorn said.

"And who would I do this with?"

"Anyone-" Aragorn began.

"Anyone who hasn't already done this." Faramir interrupted. Aragorn nodded his assent.

"I see. Who hasn't been it?"

"Not sure of everyone. You will just have to pass it on through trial and error." Eomer said.

"What about the elf?" Gimli asked, acting on a sudden thought.

"Legolas? I don't think he has even been close to this area all morning." Eomer said.

"Legolas hasn't joined this game. The elves don't know of it." Aragorn stated.

"Then I shall give it to Legolas." Gimli firmly declared.

"That would be the day. A dwarf tricking an elf."

"You would never accomplish such a deed."

"Then how about a wager?" Gimli taunted.

The three greatest leaders of men counseled on the odds. Finally, as one, they turned back to the waiting dwarf.

"And what would the wager be?" they asked.

"If I win then the three of you will be my servants for a week." Gimli said.

"And if we win?"

"If, by the sixth hour, I have been unable to trick the elf, I will be your servant for a week." he answered.

The three men looked to one another and nodded, with a small smile.

"Agreed."

Gimli confidently squared his shoulders and marched off to find an elusive elf. The three watched him go, silently laughing on the inside.

"He'll never win." Aragorn said with a knowing grin.

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SMK: I will try to have the second half up in about a week. Until then, please reveiw! 


	2. Chapter 2

Get Rid of 'It'

part 2

The party inside growing wilder and louder by the second, Gimli decided to take his search for the elf outside the halls. A full three hours had passed since Gimli began his search. And, even though his ears were not as acute as an elf's, he could hear the sharp crunch of men's steps. Aragorn, Faramir, and Eomer were, as discretely as possible, following him.

Ignoring the men, Gimli thought on what he would have Aragorn do if he won their wager. And with a sudden dread, thought on what the men would have _him_ do if Gimli lost. He would lose without even _finding_ the elf. Of all the no good, fancy prancing, self righteous-…Gimli broke off from his worried tirade as a glint of blonde caught his attention passing through the garden gate.

"Legolas!" he yelled, sprinting after the woodland elf. Upon entering Gimli saw no immediate evidence of his quarry. Glancing behind him at the still lagging men, Gimli marched in to the center of the garden.

There was no sign of the elf. Gimli quickly walked up to the tallest tree and turned to face the garden's gate. Standing just beyond he could see Aragorn smirking, -you will never succeed- he mouthed to the dwarf.

Taking a deep breath, Gimli began to yell, "Legolas! Blasted elf ne-", Gimli was cut off as Legolas dropped down from the tree landing behind the dwarf.

"Ai, Gimli?"

Flashing a triumphant grin at the astonished men, Gimli turned to face Legolas.

"Guess what Legolas?" he asked.

"hmm…a guessing game. Eomer? Or more likely, perhaps, Aragorn?" Legolas said turning to leave.

"No! That's not it. Legolas, guess what?" Gimli asked grabbing the elf's arm, desperate to prevent him form seeing the trio of men.

"Is there anything in particular that I should guess?" Legolas queried, at first attempting to shake the dwarf's grip off then simply started to drag the resisting dwarf along with him as he exited the garden. Once at the gate Gimli managed to yank Legolas to a stop glancing around for a sign of the men. Sighing in relief when he did not see them he returned his attention to the wood elf.

"Where are you going?" Gimli whispered harshly.

"Is this a game of twenty questions? I am going to get a drink and since you seem so keen on playing this game with me, you shall come with."

"G-game?" Gimli stuttered, visibly paling at the word. "No of course tis no game of questions. Let us get those drinks my friend."

Walking briskly the two arrived back in the main room where the party was taking place. Acquiring two mugs of ale, Gimli all but shoved one into the elf' hand.

Another full hour had slowly slipped past before Gimli began to regain some confidence and another half of an hour before he got the courage to try again. During the course of his plan the three men wandered through several times. Gimli had ignored their earlier visits but this time they didn't leave again. Aragorn pointedly held his gaze before looking to Legolas. After having accepted drink after drink Legolas was politely declining offers of any more.

"You are running out of time. There is, what, an hour left?" A smirking Aragorn remarked.

"An hour and a half!" the dwarf corrected firmly.

"Then you had best follow after him or else you will spend all that time trying to find him again." Eomer stated and the other two nodded.

"What?" Gimli muttered blinking up at them. Faramir merely raised his arm and pointed across the hall. Legolas, accompanied by Eowyn, were making their way through the crowd.

Gimli followed after them, only managing to catch up when the two reached the table of refreshments.

"Legolas! Could you…can you just…" Gimli trailed off.

"Is there some predicament with which you require aid?"

"Yes! I mean … of course not! What do you think I am elf?"

"Well then I shall be on my way."

"Wait, I uh have a question," the dwarf stammered.

"And that would be…?" prompted the elf.

"Well, actually more of _show_ you than asking you."

"Then by all means lead the way." Legolas gestured for Gimli to take the lead. The dwarf did so. After a few minutes he suddenly halted and pointing across the way, shouted, "Look! What is that?"

"Where would that be?" Legolas inquired with a quick glance around.

"Oh, it must have been nothing." The pair continued as Gimli hastily tried to think of a plan. He had only minutes left now.

"Gahhhhhh!" the frustrated dwarf threw up his hands. "A curse on time limits! Why did I have to set a time limit?"

"What time limit?" Legolas stopped walking and looked at Gimli.

"That stupid time limit Aragorn- wait…what did you say?" Gimli asked his voice hopeful, behind them hiding in the shadows the three men groaned.

"I said 'what-" Legolas was cut off at Gimli's yell.

"FIVE WHATEVER TO GET RID OF IT!!!!! Did you hear that Aragorn? The elf said 'what'!"

Stunned Aragorn, Eomer and Faramir joined the two.

"Very well Gimli. We know when to admit defeat." Aragorn said with an air of defeat. Gimli nodded in agreement.

"I think now would be a very good time for a drink," he said walking off.'

"That was amusing," Legolas commented.

"You mean you knew what was going on?" a surprised Faramir questioned. Legolas gave all three men a look of reproach.

"What? Did you actually think a dwarf could get the better of an elf in a game of wordplay? Besides it would do you some good to be humbled."

"Legolas! That's not fair!" all three men protested.

"I think I am going to enjoy this. I have not felt such excitement in a couple hundred years." Legolas said, walking away back into Meduseld.

"I can't wait to see what Gimli metes out." Legolas called back over his shoulder.

FIN

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SMK: I know...it's been too long but still please review.


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